Penis Williams

Penis Williams

     by Dr. Douglas Ramme

He lost to his sister Serena and afterwards they met at a small coffee shop to discuss the game. The lopsided loss surprised even his father who had bet that the younger man's recent victories guaranteed him a strong finish. Serena offered him this advice.

        "Approach the net when I'm scrambling, Penis. You tend to stay too far back, because you want to be safe, and then your near corner offers itself to my backhand. At least three times in this last set you could have driven one from ten feet crosscourt where I wouldn't have been able to get to it." Serena spoke with calm friendship to her younger brother, knowing that he struggled against advice from her. She noticed her father's silence. He drank coffee and beckoned the waitress over for something to eat. Empty because of restricted access, the cafe served today only four others, all players or trainers. 

          She waited a while, but when he sat there thoughtfully she said,

          "You are the number fifteen seed, Penis, and you will eventually take me down a notch, don't you think?" He smiled A little, because he felt a great warmth for his sister even now. He reached for one of the chocolate bagels that arrived and ate half of it before answering. He passed the other half to her.

         "I hope you're right. I sometimes lose faith in my abilities. How did you do against Sasha in the British open the first time you played it? Did you feel uncertain then? At all?"

She nodded, smiling. Her foot came out from under her and she leaned to whisper to him a confidence. The father smiled. He knew that she would bring him around. She had that cozy gentleness that found its way to its mark when she wished it to. This goodness came from a strange place, not a crooked one. Penis would be won over as he always had been.

        "Come here and hug me," she said to the boy who had till now sat there with his arms crossed. He undid them and put them about his sister, till she snuggled against him and kissed his neck. Soon all felt fresher in the cafe. They would practice the approach to the net later in the afternoon. Now the time pressed them to attend to some business before returning home for lunch. The children's mother counting on them being at table when they played home games. No one guessed the love these two felt for each other. No one knew the father's full interest in or pride over their accomplishments.