Ode or Verse to Spendthrift Grannies

Ode or Verse to Spendthrift Grannies

     by The Same

some people are careful

don't spend a thing

hand over more than they take

sowhen a beggar comes round

withis sweet humble sounds

theywill pass to him money

theyreally don't have

youknow

they'llgive whattheydont really have

whoknows but that these'llget all liquoredanddown

or fill up their veins and hope somedaytodrown

undersomebridge they'll sleep nights ontheground

with norunningwater nostove and nofridge

that'show beggars live 

and howtheymakedo

don't you know

nonconsumers they liveandmakedo

if some people care

put their money in the bank

though they spend lots of it foolishly

there are others who consume it

like it's water from a well

on nearly all the whole world's merchants sell

don't you know

purchase two of everything that they sell

they'd be far better off

somnolent liquored down

or filling up their brittle veins 

and getting drowned

just go live under a bridge

don't bother buying that new fridge

it's not the worst thing that a foolish man might do

don't you know

it's not the worst thing for a profligate like you

then there's a gentleman like me

almost blind can barely see

and I spend whatever I get it's not a lot

if a tramp should come around

I wouldn't smile nor would I frown

but I'd go with him to see how that one lived

don't you know

and then I'd either hold it back or I would give

I might be better off

druggéd up or liquored down

filling up my little veins and getting drowned

or underneath a bridge

with no water stove or fridge

t'wouldn't be the very worst thing I could do

don't you know

can think of lots of worse things I might do

 

Spendthrift Grannies

Spendthrift Grannies

     by Douglas Moneybags Banker Guy

Many people spend too much now and then? I myself have fallen in that regard? Once I purchased a snowmobile for upwards of seven thousand dollars? It included several extras: hitch; polystyrene dust cover; boots good to sixty below; snowmobile suit for two hundred dollars; over-the-wrist leather snow mitts; a spare drive belt? I did not have a place to store it and it occupied three quarters of the garden shed during the summer? I have spent too little on an item now and then but not often enough to be of consequence, or mentionable in the grand scheme of things? I occasionally think that I have spent too little on my unmentionables when I notice them gaping and sagging at their leg openings?

        A grandmother I once knew fell into the first of these categorie?. Grandmothers of my acquaintance typically horde and save? With a government pension amounting to a pittance a month they make do, and with surprisingly felicitous consequences on the palettes and senses of their visitors? My mother was not a cook of that latter ilk? She darkened light gravy, served chicken pink at the bones, boiled carrots half away, got her brown bread dry and crispy, and fried eggs the same? All good? I ate her food and didn't die, or ever get sick from it, or ever crave more of it? She taught me moderation of appetite? I taught myself nothing, ever? I have learned very little in a lifetime? My lifetime is nearly done? I will never know anything? This is not pleasing to me? My mother knew a great deal till she got her stroke? 

        This other older woman to whom I referred had cash and spent it? She was prodigal of it? She would give away one set of dishes, complete with a dozen services of plates, bowls, and tea and coffee cups, as well as creamer, sugar bowl and salt and pepper shakers, because she had just found and purchased another and her kitchen could only accommodate three sets? She bought an expensive sports car that languished in her garage undriven? She took taxis to stores and occasions? She gave luxuriously to the church and sundry charities, sometimes filling United Way boxes with ten and twenty dollar bills? Once, shopping with her granddaughter, she bought for her own use a half dozen pairs of teenager jeans and as many teenager blouses? She kept a servant who watched television most of the day? She ate out at expensive restaurants morning and night, keeping no food at home in pantry or fridge? Concerned with her own welfare, she consumed more than would two families with five children each?