Sellers in the Temple

Sellers in the Temple

      

       by Syclopsis Bulls

"There are no temples nowadays. Oh, of course, Calvary Temple, run by the locally famed Pastor Barber. And there's Jimmy Jones and the something temple where the 400 followers killed themselves. And the Waco Texas religious cult whose buildings the US government accidentally brought down by fire. But these hardly constitute temples. Interesting, by way of aside, how millennial cults, end-of-the-world cults, various secret association cults, sun-worshipping cults, and every other kind of cult officially names itself a temple. That's neither here nor there. What the aitch. And there's also the Masonic Temple. Remember, they were the ones with the lap dancers and the strippers last year at their annual Canadian get together. That's neither here nor there. Men like to watch women divest themselves of clothing. Religious men, irreligious men, effeminate men, man's men, sleepless men, fanatical men, leader men, and even gay men. All like nudity to the extent that their guilt levels let them see it without inward cringing. The least common guilt level is that of the evangelical Mennonite man, sincere in his faith, who sees pictures on TV of young women in teeny swimsuits and goes to turn it off. He does this not because his wife is sitting there and she will suspect the truth about him, nor because he feels little, but because he feels much when he sees a naked or semi-naked woman and the turn-off (ha ha) is itself the sign of his interest. Yes, the Masons can be accused only of a political faux pas, not a moral one.

       I am Chintar the magician. And I am just now not at all interested in nudity per se any more or less than is the average male on the average working morning when he has much to do. Oh, he may make a quick foray to a sex site on a company computer, or peek once at his secret personal favorite photo in a file at the back of the second drawer from the top, but really he can't afford to get that caught up with sex in the morning. He has way too much to do.

       Which brings me to my story. Those of you have not ever been inside a Jewish temple raise your hands. Okay. I see there aren't many of you. A few may have, I can tell by the timid up and down movement of your hands and the looking around to see if you are making the right decision. How many of you have been, then? Right. That's better. Okay, four or five. Now, of those who have been, did you ever see Jesus there? No? No one is nodding or shaking heads. No wonder. This is a ridiculous question. Of course you haven't! Am I stupid?! Come on, that was two thousand years ago, you are still thinking. But--------I have! I have seen Jesus in a temple in Jerusalem. Yep. Oh, Jeez, you are thinking to yourselves, we've got ourselves a kook here. Why didn't we get a proper speaker. Once a year and we have to get a delusional one. Ah, but friends, don't be so hasty. I will explain and it will all come out sounding reasonable in the end for all of you.

       So, let me begin again. Thank you for inviting me to your Promise Mennonite Church Winter Retreat. I am honored to have been invited to speak to you. Twice over the next two days, I believe. Am I right, Jerry? Yes. Thank you. Today I wish to speak about Jesus. Tomorrow I will be performing some magical tricks that will knock your socks off. Even you unbelievers. Yes. You will see things done before your very eyes that you would never have credited possible before! But let me get on with it."

(to be continued)