Joyful Now

Joyful Now
Lucky Lukewarm Lucy Luke

I do feel things besides regret. Much as someone looking at my life and experiences might surmise (suspect) my fixation on the past, truthfully I notice instead a gentle presentness about my daily emotional being. 
     Please understand, I consider my past behaviour towards the gentler half of humanity troublesome. I regret the pain I brought to those who needed my wisdom, and I continue to believe that my life required admission of failures as well as a self-analysis bent on examination of and changing much of my former weltanschauung. I have spent a while mired in regret, but now for some time I have felt peaceful. 
     Not peaceful only, I enjoy a rich emotional life as well. I play guitar for an hour almost every day. I create diamond willow walking sticks. I read both intellectual materials as well as crime/detective fiction. I watch videos about Mars exploration, caving and spelunking, Sasquatch, UFOs, near death experiences, fishing, bushcraft, humour. I participate with others in exercises three times a week. I walk about 30 miles a month. 
     I feel great pleasure playing my guitar, a 1973 Martin D28 with a beautiful sound. It warms my heart every time I pick it up and strum it. How can I possibly express the rich, brightness of its high registers and the cleanness, the fullness, of its middle and bass registers! Because it sounds so fine, so familiar, I tend to wish to learn new songs regularly; and I do! 
     I enjoy the half hour coffee group that meets here in our housing community each morning at 10:00. I love baking bread and have with much practice perfected my sourdough bread-making using my own-made 5 year old sourdough starter (of which I feel very proud). I take joy, too, in giving my widowed sister a loaf of fresh bread each week. My brother and I (Rudi from Campbell River) laugh and talk very gladly about twice a month by phone. My old friend and fellow traveller, Terry, warms my heart and mind each time I speak with him. And, among other things that feel joyous to me, is my friendship with Norman, whom I visit for 2 hours weekly because he is bedridden. My fine friends, Joe and Lois, as well as three other old friend groups delight me frequently. 
     I feel blessed and grateful. How lucky my life is mostly!